


Speak Your Mind

by randomwriter57



Series: ShuTaba Week 2020 [1]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Chatlogs, Epistolary, Established Relationship, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Post-Canon, how the hell do you tag in this fandom, minor spoilers for the game, the others show up briefly but it focuses mostly on futaba and joker
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:33:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22757098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/randomwriter57/pseuds/randomwriter57
Summary: Ever since returning to his hometown, Ren has been quieter than usual. Futaba decides to investigate.
Relationships: Amamiya Ren/Sakura Futaba, Kurusu Akira/Sakura Futaba, Persona 5 Protagonist/Sakura Futaba
Series: ShuTaba Week 2020 [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1636129
Comments: 4
Kudos: 63





	Speak Your Mind

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I'm alive!  
> It's been a long time since I last posted a fic, since I wasn't feeling super happy with the quality of my writing. Ironically, I'm not super happy with how this one turned out either, but that's because it was kind of rushed lol  
> Anyway! I finally played P5 back in November and... holy crap Futaba is best girl. I love her and Joker together a lot, so when I heard ShuTaba week was coming up, I knew I had to participate! I probably won't have something up for every day of the week, since it coincides with a pretty busy time for me right now, but I have a few things I'm really excited to post!  
> I'm using a prompt list, and today's prompt was Promises! I haven't written an epistolary story in a while, so I decided this would be the perfect opportunity to experiment with it again - hence why this ended up being a bit rushed. I hope you enjoy it regardless! Most of it is texts, but there's some prose near the end too.
> 
> I use the name Ren Amamiya for the protagonist because that's what I played the game with, and thus that's the name I prefer for him. Sorry if you prefer Akira, I know I'm probably in the minority here ^^"
> 
> Enjoy!

**25/04/17 | Tuesday | After school**

**GROUP CHAT: The Phantoms**

**Ren** : So out of curiosity  
 **Ren** : If I got arrested do you think they’d send me back to Tokyo for another year of probation  
 **Makoto** : Whatever you’re thinking of doing, please don’t.  
 **Ann** : you know you can just come back to Tokyo to visit anytime, right?? you don’t need to get arrested again??  
 **Ren** : If school wasn’t a thing, I gladly would  
 **Ryuji** : man i hear u school is a bitch  
 **Yusuke** : Midterms are approaching, I suppose.  
 **Futaba** : press f to pay respects  
 **Ann** : f  
 **Ryuji** : f  
 **Yusuke** : I’m not sure I understand but  
 **Yusuke** : F  
 **Haru** : That’s a shame! It is your third year now, though, so it must be quite busy!  
 **Makoto** : Golden Week is relatively soon, so if you’re ahead on your studies, why not visit then?  
 **Ryuji** : yeah u should totally visit!  
 **Futaba** : i can tell sojiro to get the attic ready for you!  
 **Ren** : You guys make it so hard not to just go right now  
 **Ren** : I can’t this time around though  
 **Ryuji** : that sucks man. school kickin ur ass that much?  
 **Haru** : Please don’t push yourself too hard ^^  
 **Ren** : Don’t worry, my grades are fine  
 **Ren** : I just can’t get the days off work, that’s all  
 **Makoto** : That’s fair enough. Your studies and work responsibilities come first.  
 **Futaba** : awww no fair  
 **Futaba** : tell your work i’m gonna fight them  
 **Futaba** : i’ll change their cognition and make them think you’re not working those days  
 **Yusuke** : How do you propose to do that? We destroyed the Nav and the Metaverse.  
 **Ann** : please don’t hack Ren’s work  
 **Makoto** : Futaba please don’t hack into Ren’s work network.  
 **Ryuji** : do it i dare u  
 **Ren** : I can try talking to them again, but I think it’s a no-go this time  
 **Ren** : Sorry, Futaba  
 **Futaba** : :c  
 **Futaba** : ok  
 **Haru** : On the bright side, we’ll all be seeing each other in the summer anyway! We have that to look forward to ^^  
 **Ann** : true! we should start making plans soon or else everywhere will book up!  
 **Makoto** : I wish you were this organised with your studies, Ann.  
 **Makoto** : Though I must admit I’m also excited.  
 **Yusuke** : As am I! This summer will be the perfect time for new artistic experiences.  
 **Ryuji** : as long as we go to the beach i’m cool  
 **Haru** : I think we should try to visit as many places as we can together! There are a lot of things none of us have had the chance to see before, after all.  
 **Ann** : anyone wanna keep a list of places?? they’ll get buried in chat before summer  
 **Makoto** : I’ve got a folder already set up, don’t worry.  
 **Futaba** : that’s our queen for ya!

* * *

**Direct Messages: key item <3**

**Futaba** : hey hot stuff  
 **Futaba** : you okay??  
 **Futaba** : you seemed stressed in the gc  
 **Ren** : I’m okay  
 **Ren** : It’s just weird not being in Tokyo  
 **Ren** : There’s nothing to do  
 **Futaba** : ye that must suck  
 **Futaba** : just lemme know if you want me to hack your work  
 **Ren** : I appreciate the offer but if they figured it out they’d fire me so  
 **Ren** : Maybe don’t???  
 **Futaba** : i know  
 **Futaba** : it’s just crappy  
 **Futaba** : it’s only been a month but it sucks not having you here  
 **Ren** : I miss you too  
 **Ren** : Feels way longer than a month, right?  
 **Ren** : How’s the promise list going, by the way?  
 **Futaba** : it’s good!! i managed to take the train to school by myself last week  
 **Ren** : That’s amazing! How did it go?  
 **Futaba** : it was scary and crowded but i guess i’m getting used to it???  
 **Futaba** : going out with you probably buffed my stats tbh  
 **Ren** : You’re the one going out and taking the train, though  
 **Ren** : I’m just here in spirit to cheer you on  
 **Futaba** : my ghost cheerleader lol  
 **Futaba** : omg  
 **Futaba** : an actual phantom  
 **Futaba** : phantom cheerleader  
 **Ren** : Where Are They Now: Phantom Thieves edition  
 **Ren** : “Their leader gave up crime and turned to cheerleading. Experts cannot understand what prompted this sudden change”  
 **Futaba** : omfg  
 **Futaba** : i would watch that  
 **Ren** : I should tell Mishima to change his documentary script to include that  
 **Futaba** : OMG DO IT  
 **Ren:** Anyway, anything else to report?  
 **Futaba** : ye i’ve just added a new promise  
 **Futaba** : “help ren achieve his cheerleading dreams”  
 **Ren** : omg  
 **Futaba** : dw bb i’ll make you the best cheerleader the world has ever seen  
 **Ren** : I trust you  
 **Ren** : I’ll be the prettiest cheerleader in the world  
 **Futaba** : well you’re already pretty so that won’t be hard  
 **Futaba** : didn’t you do gymnastics too??? you did parkour and stuff all the time in the metaverse  
 **Ren** : Yeah for a little while  
 **Ren** : I could teach you sometime  
 **Futaba** : my fragile bones say nope  
 **Futaba** : it’s impossible  
 **Futaba** : i will literally break everything in my body  
 **Ren** : I’ll persuade you one of these days  
 **Ren** : Okay Morgana’s telling me to study  
 **Ren** : Text you later?  
 **Futaba** : ok  
 **Futaba** : tell mona i said hi  
 **Futaba** : and give him scritches for me!!  
 **Ren** : One sec  
 **Ren** : _attached image_ IMG101.jpg  
 **Futaba** : blessed image  
 **Ren** : He’s not happy about it lol  
 **Futaba** : worth it  
 **Ren** : Okay I really gotta go now  
 **Ren** : Love you <3  
 **Futaba** : you i love, boyfriend <3

* * *

**FUTABA SAKURA PROMISE LIST BOOK**

_Spring 2017_

> √ take the train to school by myself  
> √ talk to kana-chan at least twice a week  
> X try to help sojiro out in leblanc  
> X go to akihabara by myself  
> √ go somewhere i’ve not been with someone  
> √ talk to ren every night <3  
> X save up for the new featherman limited edition figures!!!

* * *

  
**10/05/17 | Wednesday | After school**

**GROUP CHAT: The Phantoms**

**Ryuji** : why the hell do we still have to do exams?  
 **Yusuke** : I hate to agree with you on something, but I often wonder that myself.  
 **Ann** : exams have only been going on for a day and you’re already complaining?  
 **Ryuji** : they suck balls  
 **Ryuji** : they should cancel exams in 3rd year  
 **Makoto** : That wouldn’t help much in preparation for college entrance exams.  
 **Ryuji** : i ain’t going to college tho  
 **Ann** : you still need good grades to get a good job though  
 **Ryuji** : says the model??  
 **Makoto** : At any rate, I don’t want to hear that you’re neglecting your studies.  
 **Makoto** : Exams are important, whether you like it or not.  
 **Makoto** : That goes for all of you.  
 **Yusuke** : They may be important, but studying is immensely time-consuming. I would much rather be honing my craft.  
 **Makoto** : You won’t be able to “hone your craft” if you’re spending your summer in supplementary classes, Yusuke.  
 **Ann** : oh yeah, I forgot about those. if anyone fails they won’t be able to come vacationing with us!  
 **Ryuji** : o shit u right  
 **Futaba** : rip to you guys  
 **Futaba** : but you’re right exams suck  
 **Futaba** : >:(  
 **Ann** : oh hey Futaba!  
 **Ryuji** : shouldn’t u be acing ur exams?? ur a genius  
 **Futaba** : even if i know the answers it still sucks  
 **Futaba** : it’s so tense and quiet  
 **Makoto** : I imagine this must be more difficult for you, since these are your first exams in a while.  
 **Ann** : yeah, don’t worry! you get used to it eventually  
 **Yusuke** : No, I agree. The atmosphere is overly heavy.  
 **Ryuji** : ya it is  
 **Makoto** : Well, regardless, there aren’t many days left of exams. Just do your best to pass.  
 **Yusuke** : My exams have not started yet, but I appreciate the sentiment.  
 **Ann** : oh yeah, Kosei have different exam dates  
 **Ann** : when are Ren’s exams??  
 **Ryuji** : ren u here buddy??  
 **Futaba** : he’s not reading chat atm  
 **Futaba** : i think his exams are this week too  
 **Yusuke** : It is rare for him not to be in these conversations.  
 **Ann** : he’s been quiet for the past couple of weeks though??  
 **Makoto** : He mentioned being busy with work and study, so I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s why he’s not responding now.  
 **Ann** : Ren if you’re reading this later, you can do it!!  
 **Ryuji** : yeah man you’ll be great  
 **Yusuke** : I’m not sure what the chances are that he’ll see this but  
 **Makoto** : Ren’s grades are usually high, so I’m not too worried about him. He’ll do well.  
 **Ann** : you’re right Makoto!  
 **Yusuke** : regardless of whether exams should exist or not, I hope you do well in them.  
 **Futaba** : aww you guys  
 **Futaba** : you’re so sappy  
 **Ryuji** : our summer vacation is at stake  
 **Ann** : do your best so we can all meet up in summer!  
 **Makoto** : Alright, now get back to studying.  
 **Ann:** okay  
 **Ryuji** : yes queen  
 **Yusuke** : Understood.  
 **Futaba** : >:(

* * *

**DIRECT MESSAGES: panther**

**Ann** : hey, Futaba?  
 **Futaba** : what’s up?  
 **Ann** : you talk to Ren most nights, right?  
 **Ann** : has he been off lately??  
 **Futaba** : define ‘off’  
 **Ann** : it’s just that he’s been super quiet in the group chat  
 **Ann** : at first I thought it might just be because of exams, but it’s been a couple of weeks now  
 **Futaba** : yeah that’s true  
 **Futaba** : i mean he doesn’t talk much anyway  
 **Futaba** : usually when we chat it’s mostly me telling him about my day  
 **Ann** : he doesn’t talk about himself?  
 **Futaba** : not really??  
 **Futaba** : he usually just says things are the same as usual  
 **Ann** : oh  
 **Ann** : I guess maybe he doesn’t think it’s important?  
 **Ann** : sorry to bother you about this  
 **Futaba** : it’s cool  
 **Futaba** : i’ll talk to him tonight  
 **Ann** : thanks, Futaba

* * *

**DIRECT MESSAGES: key item <3**

**Futaba** : hey pretty boy  
 **Futaba** : you up?  
 **Futaba** : imma spam you until you reply  
 **Futaba** : hey  
 **Futaba** : ren  
 **Futaba** : reennnnnnnnnnnn  
 **Ren** : Hi  
 **Ren** : Sorry, I fell asleep  
 **Ren** : Morgana kept swatting me to wake me up  
 **Futaba** : lol  
 **Futaba** : scritches??  
 **Ren** : Your wish is my command  
 **Ren** : Never mind he won't let me  
 **Futaba** : rip  
 **Futaba** : we’ll get him next time  
 **Futaba** : anyway how’s life??  
 **Ren** : Same as usual  
 **Ren** : Work and studying  
 **Futaba** : ye exams are the worst  
 **Ren** : They are  
 **Ren** : I saw the group chat from earlier  
 **Ren** : I don’t think anyone would get any studying done without Makoto there  
 **Futaba** : you’re not wrong  
 **Futaba** : how are yours going??  
 **Ren** : They’re okay  
 **Ren** : The curriculum isn’t so different from at Shujin  
 **Ren** : What about yours?  
 **Futaba** : they suck  
 **Futaba** : exams make me anxious  
 **Futaba** : but i’ll be okay  
 **Futaba** : gotta pass so we can vacation  
 **Ren** : Don’t stress yourself out too much, okay?  
 **Ren** : Remember those breathing exercises?  
 **Futaba** : yeah i know  
 **Futaba** : they help a lot  
 **Ren** : I’m glad  
 **Ren** : Summer can’t come soon enough  
 **Futaba** : totally  
 **Futaba** : you won’t have to worry about studying or work for a while  
 **Ren** : Yeah, I can’t wait  
 **Ren** : So let’s try our hardest until then, okay?  
 **Futaba** : yeah!  
 **Ren** : I need to study now, so talk to you later?  
 **Futaba** : oh ok  
 **Futaba** : love you! <3  
 **Ren** : Love you too <3

* * *

**DIRECT MESSAGES: panther**

**Futaba** : you’re right  
 **Futaba** : he won’t talk about himself  
 **Ann** : you talked to him?  
 **Futaba** : ye  
 **Futaba** : i asked about his day and his exams and stuff but he always turned the subject to something else  
 **Futaba** : he probably just thinks it’s boring but  
 **Futaba** : what if that’s not it??  
 **Ann** : yeah, I’m a little worried too  
 **Ann** : he’s hard to read over text  
 **Ann** : and in person as well, but it’s harder over text  
 **Futaba** : ye  
 **Ann** : I’m going to wait before asking him about it  
 **Ann** : it might just be because of exams  
 **Futaba** : good idea  
 **Futaba** : i’ll let you know if he says anything  
 **Ann** : okay, thanks!  
 **Ann** : ttyl!

* * *

**FUTABA SAKURA PROMISE LIST BOOK**

_Summer 2017_

> √ take the train to school by myself  
> √ talk to kana-chan at least twice a week  
> √ try to help sojiro out in leblanc  
> √ go to akihabara by myself  
> √ talk to ren every night <3  
> X save up for the new featherman limited edition figures!!!  
> X get ren to talk about himself

* * *

**26/06/17 | Monday | After school**

**GROUP CHAT: The Phantoms**

**Ryuji** : why ain’t it summer yet  
 **Ryuji** : it’s hot but we’re still stuck in school  
 **Haru** : It has been hot recently! Perhaps we should all meet up to cool off at the weekend?  
 **Ann** : oh great idea! it’s been ages since we did anything!  
 **Yusuke** : I would also appreciate a reprieve from this heat.  
 **Futaba** : that’s cuz you’re weak to fire inari  
 **Haru** : What kind of activity should we do? I know of an ice cream parlour that recently opened, if anyone is interested.  
 **Ann** : ice cream sounds amazing yes!!!  
 **Ryuji** : we should go to the beach! or the pool!  
 **Yusuke** : All humans are weak to fire in reality.  
 **Haru** : Wonderful! I haven’t been to a public pool in a long time!  
 **Ann** : so swimming then ice cream?? that sounds like fun!  
 **Futaba** : does it have to be a public pool??  
 **Ann:** aww don’t worry Futaba, we’ll all be there to support you!  
 **Haru** : Yes, we will! We can go earlier in the day when it’s less busy, too.  
 **Ryuji** : u survive school so you’ll be ok  
 **Yusuke** : It seems we’re missing some people again today.  
 **Haru** : Mako-chan has a late lecture right now! I’m sure she’ll agree to this as well though.  
 **Ann** : as for Ren…  
 **Ryuji** : @ren yo ditch work to come swimming with us  
 **Ann** : is he busy right now?  
 **Futaba** : i think he’s at work  
 **Yusuke** : That is indeed unfortunate.  
 **Ren** : You called  
 **Ryuji** : omg ur alive  
 **Ren** : My phone wouldn’t stop buzzing  
 **Haru** : Are you at work right now?  
 **Ren** : Yeah but I’m in the bathroom so it’s okay  
 **Ann** : wow, what a rebel!  
 **Futaba** : ooh stealth mode  
 **Yusuke** : What is your take on the plans for this weekend?  
 **Ryuji** : ditch work dude come swim  
 **Ren** : As much as I want to…  
 **Ann** : thought so  
 **Ryuji** : for real?  
 **Ren** : I can’t afford to take time off if I want to have time off in the summer  
 **Futaba** : :c  
 **Yusuke** : That is most unfortunate. Perhaps next time?  
 **Haru** : At least we’ll be able to see you for the whole summer!  
 **Ryuji** : that’s still months away though  
 **Ren** : Sorry guys  
 **Ann** : don’t apologise! we all know you’re working your hardest!  
 **Ryuji** : it just sucks u can’t come  
 **Ryuji** : we all miss u, u know?  
 **Ren** : Thanks  
 **Ren** : Don’t feel like you can’t enjoy your weekend though  
 **Ren** : And send pics of the ice cream  
 **Ann** : of course!!  
 **Haru** : We can sample it so we know if it’s worth bringing you there in the summer.  
 **Ryuji** : don’t work too hard man  
 **Yusuke** : We will enjoy this trip enough for you and Morgana as well.  
 **Ren** : That’s what I like to hear  
 **Ren** : I’m going to go now before I get caught  
 **Ren** : Talk to you all later  
 **Ann** : bye!  
 **Ryuji** : later dude  
 **Haru** : good luck!  
 **Futaba** : ttyl  
 **Yusuke** : Goodbye for now.

* * *

**DIRECT MESSAGES: key item <3**

**Ren** : Hey  
 **Ren** : Is everything okay? You seemed quiet in the chat earlier  
 **Futaba** : yeah it’s all good!  
 **Futaba** : were you worried??  
 **Ren** : A little  
 **Ren** : It’s okay to tell people if there’s something on your mind  
 **Futaba** : yeah  
 **Futaba** : actually  
 **Futaba** : are you free right now??  
 **Ren** : I’m all ears  
 **Futaba** : can i call you??

* * *

**INCOMING VIDEO CALL: key item <3**

ANSWER | ~~DECLINE~~

* * *

“Hey.”

Whenever Futaba hears that sleepy voice say such a simple greeting, she can’t help but smile. Maybe it’s because she misses him, or maybe it’s because the sound is usually paired with the image of a tired Ren, with his hair mussed up and his clothes more casual than usual. There’s something to be said for guys looking attractive in lounge-wear.

Tonight, the greeting is tinged with some concern. She shouldn’t be surprised - after such a cryptic message, she really didn’t give him much context on what she wants to talk about. At least she can clear it up now.

“Hi,” Futaba says. She’s currently on her usual gaming chair, holding her phone so she and Ren can see each other over the video chat. She tries to ignore the little rectangle in the corner showing what her camera sees, and instead focuses on the boy she’s talking to.

“Is something on your mind?” Ren asks, his tone warm and relaxing. She settles into it like a winter coat, her mind already calmed by hearing him speak.

Still, this is no time to be too relaxed. She’s on this call for a reason.

“Yeah. You don’t mind listening?”

“I never mind.”

On the other side of the call, Ren shifts so he’s sitting more comfortably on his bed. Barely visible in the frame is Morgana, curled up near Ren’s pillow, napping. That cat - not a cat - has somehow gotten lazier, it looks like.

Futaba takes a deep breath through her nose, then lets it out. “You’re not upset about earlier, right? In the group chat.”

“About the swimming pool?” Ren looks a little confused - he may be hard to read, but without his glasses covering his eyes, it becomes way easier to see when his expression changes. “No, of course not. I’m sad I can’t go, but I don’t want to stop you all from having a good time.”

“I thought so,” Futaba says. Ren is many things, but he doesn’t usually lie, even when he doesn’t want to disclose the truth. “But you work so much. Are they really not gonna give you any time off?”  
Ren’s eyes glance away for a moment. “There aren’t many staff members, so it’s hard for them to give holidays. I’m not even sure they’ll let me go for the summer.”

“But the vacation…”

“I won’t miss it,” Ren says firmly, looking back to her again. “Don’t worry. I value you guys more than this job.”

“It doesn’t sound like a great job.”

There’s a beat of silence again. The hesitation in Ren’s answer makes Futaba wonder if maybe Ann had been on to something when she’d mentioned Ren not wanting to talk about himself. It’s visible in text, but it’s way more obvious face-to-face.

“It pays,” he says. “Either way, it’ll be alright. You don’t need to worry about me not being available in summer.”

Futaba bites her lip. It’s hard to figure out how to steer the conversation, especially since Ren’s skill in steering the conversation in a completely different direction is way higher than hers. She’s still trying to figure out an angle when she hears a voice in the background of Ren’s call. It’s muffled, so she doesn’t understand the words, but it catches Ren’s attention too.

“My parents are calling for me.” Ren looks from something behind the camera back to Futaba. “Sorry, can I leave you with Morgana for a minute? I’ll be quick.”

“Yeah, sure!”

Ren gently prods Morgana awake, setting his phone down so Futaba is facing Morgana. Slowly blinking awake, Morgana’s eyes latch on to Futaba and he brightens up. As he does so, Ren heads out of the room, presumably to see his parents.

“Hey, Futaba!” Morgana says. “Isn’t it kind of late to call?”

“I needed to ask Ren something,” Futaba says. “Actually, Mona. How has Ren been recently?”

Morgana seems to frown. “He’s mostly been working and studying, and he’s pretty quiet otherwise. He doesn’t go out at all anymore.”

“Really?!” One of the things that had made Ren seem so out of her league when he lived in Tokyo was that he spent every afternoon and evening with a bunch of different people. Futaba couldn’t possibly imagine dealing with that many friends, but somehow Ren always pulled it off, and he seemed to enjoy it. But now he’s not seeing anyone?

“Yeah,” Morgana says with a nod. “The people here don’t talk to him much.”  
Well, that makes sense. His reputation might have slowly cleared in Tokyo, but even with a newly clean record, Ren’s reputation as a criminal lives on in his small hometown. It’s no wonder people are wary of him.

“Is he stressed out?” Futaba asks. “Or upset?”

If Morgana could shrug, Futaba imagines he would. Instead he says, “It’s hard to tell. Even with me, he’s not an open book. I don’t think he’s happy here, though.”

“I can’t blame him for that,” Futaba says, mulling over the implications in her mind. She tries to think on any other time that Ren hasn’t been open about what he does with his free time. When he was in Tokyo, he didn’t talk about his hobbies without being asked, but when asked, he didn’t hesitate to tell her who he’d been hanging out with or what he’d been doing. He didn’t withhold information on purpose - he didn’t have any reason to.

Then Futaba remembers the one time Ren kept a secret from her: on Christmas Eve, the night before he turned himself in. It still hurts to remember that night, not because of everything that happened before it with Mementos and Yaldabaoth, but because the atmosphere had been so tense and filled with worries. They hadn’t left on the best of terms, since she knew he was keeping something from her. The next morning, Futaba went to Leblanc and found the attic empty.

Later, when Ren finally got out of juvie and they could spend time together again, he told her he hadn’t wanted to worry her. She gets it, to some extent - it hadn’t been long since he’d told her she could forget the promise to be okay without Ren around. In the end, she’d had to fulfil that promise anyway, and she’s still kind of doing it now, with Ren being so far away. With her anxiety over going out into the crowded city without her key item, she’s not surprised he’d been hesitant to tell her he’d be leaving suddenly and for an unknown amount of time.

Is this current situation something along the same lines? If Morgana’s account is true, then Ren’s been suffering quietly without telling any of them. Really, Morgana probably only knows because he’s always with Ren.

“Monaaaaaa, what do I doooooo?” she whines. “His evasion stat is way too high!”

Before Morgana can answer, the door to the room opens. Morgana’s gaze goes off-camera, and after a second, Ren returns into frame, kneeling by his bed so he and Morgana are both visible.

“Sorry about that,” Ren says. “What did I miss?”

Futaba freezes up - how is she supposed to tackle this?! Asking him right now sounds like a terrible idea, but she’s not sure she can make an excuse that Ren will actually believe.

Morgana steps in to save her. “Futaba was asking about something, but you’d be able to answer better.”

“Oh?”

Standing up from his spot on the bed, Morgana gives a very cat-like stretch and pads out of frame. “I’m going for a walk.”

“Okay?”

A moment later, it’s just Ren and Futaba on the call again. Ren moves to sit back on the bed, holding his phone for the call.

Ren is luckily the one to pick up the conversation. “So, what’s up?”

Futaba bites her lip, thinking of what to say. “What did your parents want?”

“It was just about some school stuff,” Ren says.

“What kind of school stuff?”

There’s a beat of hesitation in Ren’s answer. “Studying, I guess. Why?”

“It’s just,” Futaba pauses, still trying to gather the words. In the end, she decides to go straight for it. “You don’t talk much about yourself, you know that?”

The call goes quiet. Futaba’s eyes track Ren as he averts his gaze. She notices that his grey eyes look more tired than usual.

“It’s not really interesting,” Ren says, looking back at the camera. “I don’t want to bore you with that kind of stuff.”

“With your life?” Futaba says. “But I want to hear about you. Even if nothing new happened, I want you to tell me about your life, too.”

Ren looks at her for a little while, unspeaking. Even with screens separating them, Futaba feels exposed under his gaze. She quickly glances down, trying to keep the tingling heat from rising into her eyes - she won’t cry, not right now.

“What brought this on?” Ren asks softly.

“You’ve been quiet in the group chat, and I noticed that you change the subject whenever I ask about your life. Ann noticed too - she messaged me about it. I want you to be able to talk about whatever’s worrying you, but you never want to talk about yourself.”

“I’m sorry,” Ren says. “I didn’t realise I was worrying you so much - and the others, too.”

“We all miss you, you know. We care about you.”

“Yeah.”

Futaba doesn’t say any more - if she speaks again, she might actually cry. Instead, she keeps her eyes away from the camera, staring at her knees instead.

Eventually, Ren speaks again.

“My hometown is tiny. There’s nothing to do and word spreads fast. Everyone avoids me because of my record.”

Futaba looks up, surprised to hear Ren speak so much and so candidly. He’s not looking at his camera, but he doesn’t stop speaking.

“I managed to find a job, but my parents want me to focus on school, so I have to study a lot too. They keep asking about my plans for university - that’s why they called me downstairs before.”

He falls silent, so Futaba speaks. “Have you decided on something?”

“I want to go back to Tokyo,” he says, looking back at her. “Whether it’s for university or work, I don’t mind. I just don’t want to be here anymore.”

“Then come back,” Futaba says. “I’ll talk to Sojiro about it if you want. He won’t mind giving you the attic again.”

But Ren shakes his head. “My parents would need to pay him to keep me there, and they already resent having had to pay for me last year. Besides, I would need to transfer schools again - they don’t want to go through the trouble.”

“You’re not happy right now though, right? Can’t they see that?”

Ren shrugs. “It’s only for eight more months. I’ll survive.”

“Ren,” Futaba says, bringing his attention back to her with her tone. “You can’t just keep this bottled up. Nothing will change if you do that - isn’t that what the Phantom Thieves were about? Isn’t that why we fought that false god?”

He stays quiet for a long moment, eyes flicking between her and a spot off-camera, probably in the middle-distance. “You’re right. It’s just frustrating, being in a place where there isn’t much I can do to change things except to wait.”

Those words are like a magic key - the pieces fall together, and Futaba thinks she gets what Ren’s worrying about. After so many months of being the leader of a group who could make changes in the world using the Metaverse, now Ren’s stuck in a place where he can’t make any changes at all. It’s like playing on New Game + and resetting your characters to the beginning, where they can’t do anything except fight at a way higher level than before. In a way, Futaba thinks they all feel like that without the Metaverse - they definitely did when Ren turned himself in at first. But then they managed to help him out, even without their persona abilities.

“Sorry for going on like that,” Ren says. “That’s everything, though.”

Futaba shakes her head. “I’m glad you told me. I don’t like when we keep things from each other.”

Ren’s mouth finally tugs into a small smile. “Yeah, I agree.”

“Can you promise me something?”

“Anything,” Ren says.

“Promise you’ll tell me next time something’s on your mind?”

“I promise.”

Neither she nor Ren have a solution for Ren’s problems, but just knowing he’s not suffering in silence anymore makes Futaba feel more hopeful. Now, at least, she knows what’s going on so she can help him, just like he’s helped her and the others so many times before.

* * *

**FUTABA SAKURA PROMISE LIST BOOK**

_Summer 2017_

> √ talk to kana-chan at least twice a week  
> √ try to help sojiro out in leblanc  
> √ talk to ren every night <3  
> X save up for the new featherman limited edition figures!!!  
> √ get ren to talk about himself

  
**REN AMAMIYA PROMISE LIST**

_Summer 2017_

> √ Tell my friends whenever something is wrong  
> √ Be open with my parents  
> √ Buy Morgana some fancy tuna  
> √ Save up for summer vacation

**Author's Note:**

> I'm pretty much only active on twitter [@randomwriter57](http://twitter.com/randomwriter57) so feel free to follow me if you like!


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